November 8th, 2024
5 Ways to Calm Anxiety
Dealing With Anxiety in Today's World
For millennia, our ancestors relied on community to get them through hard times. Extended family lived together and supported each other. Neighbors and friends lent a helping hand with chores, child care, and health care. People talked, shared, and encouraged each other. If you were cast out from the social group, your survival would be at risk.
The world today is a fast-moving, uncertain place. Independence and isolation has become the norm in the Western world. With the introduction of smart phones, social media. 24/7 news, and constant videos, we are no longer gathered together in groups for mutual care and support.
When you’re feeling stressed, anxious, fearful or like you’ve lost your grounding, instead of numbing the difficult feelings with shopping, eating or gaming, jumping into action immediately, or Googling how to ease stress, try looking inward first.
The five techniques you’ll learn here can help you identify and process your uncomfortable emotions first. Then you can get into action to do something about it.
The Protective Nervous System
One function of the nervous system (the brain, spinal cord, and nerves) is to determine if a situation is dangerous and if so, to protect us.
As humans, we’ve evolved to recognize danger signals, even subconsciously, and the nervous system reacts quickly to get us into survival mode.
You’re probably familiar with the term *fight or flight*, which refers to activating the sympathetic nervous system.
When this happens, our heart rate increases, digestion slows or stops, blood vessels dilate, and blood rushes to the muscles in preparation to fight off a threat or to flee from it.
All of this bypasses the rational, thinking part of the brain.
Early humans generally faced threats as limited-time events. Their *flight or fight* response quickly activated when an animal popped out of the bushes. When the threat was over, they could return to a *rest and digest* state of recovery, also known as the parasympathetic nervous system.
The brain doesn’t know the difference between a real threat and perceived threat. And today, the threats (real or perceived) we face are nearly constant.
Stressors such as traffic, noise, social media, lights, smart phones, fear, anxiety, isolation, lack of sleep, among others, cause our nervous system to stay in *fight or flight* mode, with little or no time to recharge in *rest and digest* mode.
None of these states of the nervous system are necessarily *good* or *bad*; we are meant to move between them.
However, research suggests that spending sustained amounts of time in *fight or flight* may be linked to real physical problems such as inflammation, high blood pressure, and other chronic conditions.
#1: Name it ~ Tame it ~ Reframe it
Here’s how to start to calm your nervous system.
Name it
Connect physical sensations to your thoughts and feelings.
Sit in a quiet, comfortable place, close your eyes, and take two or three deep breaths. Focus on how your body is feeling. Do any of your muscles feel tight? Are your lungs feeling heavy or compressed, is your breathing shallow? Do you have a fluttering or nauseous feeling in your stomach or gut?
Place your hands on the part of your body where you are feeling these sensations. Press your hands deeper onto that part of your body. Continue to breathe in deeply and exhale slowly.
Focus on that feeling. Visualize the feeling; acknowledge it; name it. Allow the emotion to just be. Sit with it and fully experience it. Then thank your nervous system for protecting you.
Say “I am in a moment of ______ (suffering, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, shame, or however you are feeling) and every human feels these feelings sometimes. It is a very human experience and it’s normal. That doesn’t mean it’s not painful or uncomfortable, but I offer myself compassion. Thank you, brain, for protecting me.”
Tame it
As you release your hands, release the feeling. Let the emotion go. Repeat this process until you start to let go more fully and you start feeling a sense of hope.
Reframe it
Now you can start to reframe it. Tell your brain a new story. Think about the feeling you’ve just identified and have let go of, or are in the process of letting go of. Then tell yourself that you are safe.
For example, if I am feeling anxious about how uncertain the world feels right now and my place in it, I could say:
“Thank you, nervous system, for keeping me safe. You’ve done your job. But now I acknowledge that it is safe for me to _______ (love myself as I am, forgive myself for ___, forgive someone else for ___, go back out into the world, or whatever it is you want to do)”.
Repeat it several times until you start feeling more comfortable with it.
This doesn’t mean lying to yourself. If you really aren’t safe, then don’t tell yourself that you are. Talk to a trusted friend or professional.
But if you think that you can be safe, then try this method. If you feel like you can’t say a safe statement to yourself, then break it down into steps and think about the safety of doing a subset of the full action.
For example, if you are anxious about tracking what you eat and telling yourself that this is a safe activity doesn’t feel authentic, then tell yourself it’s safe for you to do a smaller step first, such as look at a tracker or print out a tracker. Or, tell yourself that it’s safe for you to track your sleep.
Then, as you start getting more comfortable with this safe subset, you can move closer to your desired safe statement one step at a time.
This process will take some time and practice. But remember, it’s normal and okay to be wherever you are.
You are human, and you are experiencing human emotions.
👉👉 Take time to process your feelings before you move forward. Connecting to your humanity can help you step into compassion – for yourself and for others.
Then, when we’re feeling safe, we can experience the third and most evolved state of the nervous system, where we are primed for social connection.
4 More Ways + Resources
Here are four more techniques I find helpful in calming the nervous system.
2) Move your body – get outside and go for a walk, leaving your phone turned off.
3) Sing, chant, laugh, or hum – to stimulate the vagal nerve.
4) Use an app:
- Calm – an app with meditations and relaxing music (Black Friday sale has started).
- The Tapping Solution – EFT tapping scripts and information.
- Listen to my playlist – feel the feels, or choose an instrumental playlist of soft sounds.
5) 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique – experience the details of your surroundings using your five senses, without judgment, to move from anxiety into the present moment.
Notice:
- 👀 5 things you can see: objects, colors, or anything in your immediate surroundings
- ✋ 4 things you can feel: physical sensations such as the feeling of your legs on the chair, or the temperature of the air on your skin
- 👂 3 things you can hear: tune in to the sounds around you like birds chirping, the hum of a fan, or distant traffic noise
- 👃 2 things you can smell: inhale deeply and experience the scent of fresh flowers, your morning coffee, or a scented candle
- 😛 1 thing you can taste: mint from your toothpaste or the tea you just sipped
Next Steps
Remember, both the active and restorative aspects of the nervous system have evolved to protect us. We are meant to cycle between them to meet our needs at the time.
It’s only when we spend too much time in one or the other that we should be concerned. And usually, we’re spending too much time in *fight or flight* mode.
Use the techniques above to calm and reassure your nervous system as a first step, before starting new habits or trying to make lasting change,
✨✨ If you’d like to go deeper into nervous system healing and restoration, schedule a free call with me. In just 20 minutes, you can discover one trigger and come away with an action item to start your healing journey.
👉👉 Remember that the information I share with you is for educational purposes only, is not a substitute for medical advice, and is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any disease. Consult with your healthcare provider before making any changes to your routine.